It’s not confusing at all.

People like to talk about how things can be confusing to children. How the idea of people in same sex relationships may be overwhelming for them or how people who are transitioning are just too much for a child to understand.

I’ve always combatted this with the fact that as parents its our responsibility to talk to them about things and help them understand. I’ve always believed  this is our job.

It’s not.

I mean, sure. We should answer any questions if they have them but based on last nights experience…they might not.

So, this isn’t a sexuality or gender thing but Violet is often adamant that her name is not Violet. She has called herself little brown girl, little mama, Posy, Scarlett, Pocket Mouse, Towel and recently (maybe just yesterday) Bubbles.

We didn’t have plans yesterday but I was out in the alley with the kids and Violet was nearby at the park with her mom. She went down a slide and her pants got wet. They came over to borrow a pair of pants and the kids all started playing. All of a sudden the beautiful sunny sky turned dark and rain poured down. We rushed the kids inside and off they went together. Carter was eager to show Violet everything. He called to her over and over. He desperately wanted her attention and yelled a series of “Violet look” and “Violet come” and “VIOLET YOU ARE MAKING ME VERY ANGRY” when she was just doing her own thing.

All three kids were jumping on the bed in the kid’s room with Carter still trying to making things go his way. All of a sudden she said “You’re not called Violet. You’re right, You’re Bubbles.” (I suppose it should be noted that she uses the “you” pronoun for herself)

I strangely got this bit on video and stopped recording to try to tell Carter that she wanted to be called bubbles today. Before I got a word out, Carter said “okay. Hey Bubbles! want to drive a car? Bubbles! Bubbles!”

The smile that spread across her face was so wonderful and he was excited she was responding to him.

They played and squealed for a while longer. At one point she had gone back to doing her own thing and he was still calling and begging for attention (we’ve gotta work on this maybe). He was saying “Bubbles” consistently but then a “Violet” snuck out. He quickly reverted back and a few seconds later he laughed at himself and said “I don’t know why I called you Violet, you’re name is Bubbles!”

I did all but explode. There was nothing confusing to him. She wanted to be who she is and that was enough for him. I love both Carter and Bubbles so much. I love their quirks, I love their personalities, and I love that they are growing up into awesome little people.



3 thoughts on “It’s not confusing at all.

  1. I freaking love that they (do you use ‘they’ and ‘you’ for Bubbles?) changes their name and is now Bubbles. I also love how open minded kids are. They don’t need a big long explanation of gender, identity or any of that. They just accept people for who and what they are. We can learn so many lessons from the littles!

    Well done, Carter. 🙂

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