Exhausted.

This was a far too busy week.

I had no updates because I had no computer and I debated updating tonight because I’m so tired but I figure I have a little in me.  I interviewed for and was offered a new job this week which is very exciting and very stressful.  I’ve only been back at work two weeks and I am settling back in a bit and now I’m going to be in a completely different position.  It’s an incredible opportunity to do what I have wanted to do so I will not complain but I may be completely drained.

Carter had a great week.  He’s suddenly grown up so much.  He has been much more agreeable during the days, he is enjoying his nanny and he loves his time with his Mama while I’m at work.  He’s learning all sorts of new tricks and pulling himself up and crawling around.  He is always on a mission to do something.  He spends much more time entertained by things without fussing or growing frustrated.  It’s fantastic!  We brought him to a baby shower on Saturday where he hung out for over two hours.  He charmed everyone, he ate an entire sandwich, he crawled around a bit and he played with a water bottle for about 20 minutes straight.  He was in a great mood and was just so easy.  He’s growing independent and crawling away from me instead of into my lap.  It’s a strange combination of feeling proud and feeling a little heartbroken.

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Night times have not been so good.  He has been waking up crying throughout the night for the past week and then a few nights ago he figured out how to pull himself up in bed.  While the pride on his face is adorable, it also means that bedtime has gotten rough.  It’s pretty hard to fall asleep when you are standing and no matter how many times I lay him down he just climbs right back up.  It took 2 hours to get him down last night.

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Carter’s new food that he loves is “pancakes”.  I had come across the idea in many places but never tried the two ingredient pancakes but on Saturday morning when i wasn’t sure what to give him I thought I’d give it a shot!  One banana and 2 eggs mushed together and you’ve got your batter.  It really couldn’t be any easier!  Carter smooshes them into his mouth as quickly as possible.  I love when I find something he likes!

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I think the saddest part of my week was when I was talking to Daniela about her experience at the drop-in.  I brought Carter to play at the drop-ins on a regular basis.  Daniela went to one she had never been to before that is just for babies under a year and was excited for the circle time.  Unfortunately she was met with a “daddy-bashing”.  In her words, everyone was talking about their partners as though they were incompetent parents.  Her discomfort made her feel like I must be there talking about her like that which just broke my heart.  I’m not going to lie, sometimes we all have to vent out our partners but I would never hang her out to be an incompetent parent.  There is obviously no one else I trust as much with my son and I hate that even for a second she would internalize that and think the I thought so poorly of her.

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Excitement

Starting solids was disappointing for us.  As we edged up to the 6 month mark we were discussing what foods we would start with and what our plan would be.  We had a Baby Bullet ready to go and a book all about healthy foods for babies.  Around 5 months Carter started watching us with envy as we ate and then he started reaching out trying to grab it.  I guess it was par for the course.  He would chew on celery stalks and cucumber when he was teething and loved it so we thought for sure food was going to be a big hit!  We were visiting my family in Connecticut when he turned 6 months so we had decided we would hold off until we returned home before we introduced solids but he was getting so worked up about it we gave in and ran out for a butternut squash.  It was a major flop.

We tried tons of pureed food and there was not a single thing he liked but if i handed him a chunk he’d be content for a while.  And so we entered unintentional baby led weaning.  We still haven’t progressed much in the last 2 months except with bread.  He hasn’t shown a great love or excitement for any particular food except bread which he shrieks about when we take it away from him.

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Baby led weaning with a super clumsy baby is pretty difficult and very, very messy.  In the interest of actually getting some food into his mouth I’ve been trying to spoon feed him a bit of chopped up food and he’s done alright with lentils and bananas but everything else hasn’t amounted to much.  Tonight, I was making a dish with black beans and decided to try giving him some beans without much hope.  Much to my amazement, my little boy loves black beans.  He had seconds and then thirds and was so excited about them!  Carter has some really great qualities; he is really cute (I’m biased) and he has really strong legs and he’s a big healthy boy.  Other than that he is a little behind from what I can tell and personality-wise, he’s pretty unimpressed with everything.  He’s never shown extreme happiness unless I am directly playing with him but tonight, a giggle came out while eating.  He smiled and squealed while eating his silly black beans.  I never would’ve guess that.

One of the cutest parts was when a bean fell on his tray and he couldn’t pick it up without a pincer grasp (which he lacks) so he just bent over with his lips pursed trying to suck it up.

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After a trying day with a very clingy son, I’m so happy to have tucked an adorably content, well fed child into bed.