Sanctimommy: The word is a colloquialism used to refer to a person, usually a female, who has very opinionated views on child rearing and presents them upfront without any sense of humility.
If you are a parents or have any friends who are parents there is a high likelihood you’ve seen this floating around social media this past week:
Sure it’s judgemental.
Sure it’s a little ridiculous when her kid is only 2 weeks old.
Sure it’s a good laugh.
MAYBE though…maybe we shouldn’t all jump on the bandwagon laughing at her and saying “you wait and see!” Maybe we shouldn’t spew ill wishes and negativity her way in such a public way.
I’m not going to lie. I felt pretty awesome after both births. First thing I did after initial skin-to-skin was take a shower. We were well fed (thanks mom and friends) and the house was clean because nobody really moved from beside the baby. Adrenaline kept me afloat for days. I felt like this parenting thing was on lock-down.
Now, I never would’ve written anything like this woman but maybe that’s because I’m not as optimistic as her? Maybe I’m more cautious in the things I say for fear of it coming back to haunt me? Maybe I know that everyone’s experience is so very different. It’s quite possible that she genuinely thinks that this is the worst of it and this is how it is for everyone.
Maybe she is trying to empower other new parents but isn’t very good with words. This is just a “you can do it” type post reminding everyone that being a parent doesn’t have to change your standards…at least not when the child can’t move, only asks for a few things, and generally spends most of the time sleeping.
I will admit that while I had moments of feeling like I was rocking parenting I also had those moments where a friend offered to get me a clean shirt only to look down and see what a mess I’d somehow become. I had people comment on the fact that my son cried an awful lot when I thought it was pretty much in the normal range (it wasn’t). I had my poor dog anxiously staring at people only to realize she hadn’t been taken out to pee in far too long and I hadn’t even noticed. Exhaustion makes you delusional…right?
Really, people need to stop publicly shaming this woman because [post-partum] depression is real and it could potentially hit her at anytime. If she gets there and suddenly her kid is in clothes with a little spit-up on them, she’s wearing pjs with food dribbled on them as she tried to eat in an awkward way to keep it from falling on the baby, and her house is falling apart (even just a little bit)…how is she going to feel when in her head she can hear all of social media saying “I told you so!”