When you’re trying to get pregnant and having no luck, people love to say “it’ll happen when you least expect it.” I usually didn’t entertain these with the discussion that it would be a pretty difficult discussion with my wife if I were to get pregnant without trying. I just found myself annoyed all the time with people. Part of me needed to talk about everything and part of me was sick of talking about it.
We started trying to make a baby in January 2011. Over the course of 12 months we did 4 medicated cycles of IUI with sperm-bank sperm, 1 unmedicated cycle of IUI with sperm-bank sperm, 1 round of IVF with sperm-bank sperm and then our friend called me. “I think I know someone.”
We had wanted to use an unknown/known fresh donor before we got started. We had asked a few guys we knew that had at one point or another said they would be interested in donating to us. While all the guys were initially for it, after discussions and consideration they decided they weren’t comfortable with it. After being a 4-time egg donor I was sure Karma would get me back but that didn’t seem to be the case. We asked all our friends if they knew anyone who would do it either as a known donor or anonymously with a third-party picking up and delivering. Lots of friends were sure they knew someone who would. No one did.
After the failed IVF cycle I was deflated. I had such little hope. When my friend called saying she think she knew someone I wasn’t even close to optimistic. I was sure it wouldn’t come to fruition. But she was insistent that he was up for it. I gave her my non-identifying email address and he emailed me from an emailed from an account with the name Jahn Dough. I appreciated the humour. His emails were thoughtful, he asked good questions, he was comfortable with what we were looking for and we had a great character reference from our friend. We decided to go for it.
Our first insemination was on Monday, February 20th. He pointed out how fitting it was because it was Family Day (Provincial Holiday in Ontario). I wasn’t super hopeful but I was excited.
No luck the first month. We tried twice during the next cycle. No luck.
The third cycle we had two booked. I was using ovulation test strips that weren’t really showing anything but we went ahead with it. 2 days after the second insemination I decided to use a strip again and it came back positive (really late ovulation). I emailed donor dude and asked him if he happened to be free that night. He said sure and our friend went to pick it up that night.
A few days later there was pain. No, not implantation cramping (if that really exists). It was jaw pain. I thought maybe i had pulled a muscle in my neck that was pinching a nerve running into my jaw. Someone asked me about my wisdom teeth and I proudly said they had plenty of room. I went to my phsyiotherapist and got acupuncture. No help. I went to my massage therapist the next day in even more pain and she did inter-oral massage. No help. I took muscle relaxers and I tried to wait it out. I made it less then 48 hours and I finally realized there was a chance it was a tooth issue. I called my dentist crying (literally). She squeezed me into her lunch hour (if you want a recommendation of a dentist in toronto, I’ve got one). She took a look and then did some x-rays. My wisdom tooth broke at the root. It had to come out. She told me to just get them all done because while there was room, they would likely all end up having issues.
I was referred to an emergency oral surgeon and I ran directly there. He did more x-rays and he told me there was no way he was taking them out without putting me under which meant he couldn’t do it that day and he had no time for me the next day. Two more days of extreme pain. He gave me a prescription for tylenol with codeine. It didn’t work well but offered some relief so I went ahead and took it.
I went in for the wisdom tooth removal on a Friday morning. It was two days before my expected day 1 and I knew they would ask “is there any chance you’re pregnant” so I took a test before going in. Negative. No surprise there.
I got put under had them ripped out and felt instant relief. In my drugged up state I was apparently crying and telling Daniela that she would be beautiful pregnant and it was okay if she started trying.
I felt like I had lost a week of my life with all that pain and I had fallen behind at work. I didn’t get my period when I expected to and I thought nothing of it because I figured maybe drugs would effect that. I had a little bit of spotting on my day 2 so I thought it was coming. It wasn’t. I grew frustrated that it wasn’t coming because I wanted to try again and I hated the delay.
By the time I was 4 days late my pants were tighter then they should have been. I was blotted and my period hadn’t even started yet! Gah!
I mentioned my frustration to our roommate at the time and she told me I should just take a test.
It was the faintest positive I had ever seen. I didn’t even think it counted.
Later that day after a run with Daniela she told me to use one of the better tests. It was a faint positive but a little less faint then the last. I didn’t even get my hopes up surprisingly but we decided we would run to the fertility clinic that we had previously used the next morning and see if they would do a blood test.
Sure enough I was pregnant.
I guess even in my case it can happen when you least expect it.